I was lonely and down tonight – it was a massive anticlimax after meeting Hannah in France, falling madly in love and then having to leave. Why the fuck didnt I get her number or something. Fear of rejection. Just sat in the flat by myself drinking wine and watching shit TV, trying not to think about it.
Predictably, a lonely man with a mobile phone is a dangerous situation. Started texting random birds that I know. Seeing my ex for lunch soon. Having a drink with a girl I met travelling. Hell, I even made up with Carmen, we agreed to "be friends". That one's a big mistake. It essentially means that Carmen is going to swamp me with emails and texts which I will reply to, even though I know we're not right for each other but just because I'm bored, until one night when I am at the pique of my loneliness and let my guard down, she will pounce, I will give way and then wake up with her the next morning with her gazing at me adoringly and assuming this means we're now engaged to be married.
